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How to Play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie

Posted by Mark A. Rayner on June 24, 2010
But is it art?, Monkeys!

Here is the new version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.

The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)

So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?

Monkey

• Monkey fools Ninja
• Monkey unplugs Robot

Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!

Robot

• Robot chokes Ninja
• Robot crushes Zombie

Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!

Pirate

• Pirate drowns Robot
• Pirate skewers Monkey

Suggested noise: arrrrr!

Ninja

• Ninja karate chops Pirate
• Ninja decapitates Zombie

Suggested noise: keeee-ah!

Zombie

• Zombie eats Pirate
• Zombie savages Monkey

Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!

There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. I have changed one of the Ninja’s effects (from “shurikens” to “chops”) to make that choice more logical. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.

One question: do we need a better name for this new hand game? I’m open to suggestions.

Alltop and is easy to beat because they always choose monkey. Thanks to Swirlee for the original concept. Originally posted in March, 2009.

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Tags: monkey, monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie, ninja, pirate, robot, rochambeau, rock-paper-scissors, zombie