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How to Play Monkey-Pirate-Robot-Ninja-Zombie

Posted by Mark A. Rayner on June 24, 2010
But is it art?, Monkeys!

Here is the new version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.

The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)

So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?

Monkey

• Monkey fools Ninja
• Monkey unplugs Robot

Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!

Robot

• Robot chokes Ninja
• Robot crushes Zombie

Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!

Pirate

• Pirate drowns Robot
• Pirate skewers Monkey

Suggested noise: arrrrr!

Ninja

• Ninja karate chops Pirate
• Ninja decapitates Zombie

Suggested noise: keeee-ah!

Zombie

• Zombie eats Pirate
• Zombie savages Monkey

Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!

There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. I have changed one of the Ninja’s effects (from “shurikens” to “chops”) to make that choice more logical. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.

One question: do we need a better name for this new hand game? I’m open to suggestions.

Alltop and is easy to beat because they always choose monkey. Thanks to Swirlee for the original concept. Originally posted in March, 2009.

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Tags: monkey, monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie, ninja, pirate, robot, rochambeau, rock-paper-scissors, zombie

Last week we reported that Twitter saw a record number of Tweets-per-second (or TPS) after the Lakers win over the Celtics in the deciding game of the NBA Championship. That event generated 3,085 TPS as the game ended. On an average day, Twitter sees about 750 TPS and 65 million total Tweets a day. But with the World Cup causing massive traffic to Twitter, this record was bound to be short-lived. Today, Twitter announced that Japan’s 3-1 victory over Denmark yesterday resulted in 3,283 TPS.

Of course, Twitter cautioned that it is tough to pinpoint any records set this week on a single World Cup game because many are being played simultaneously. Apparently, the Netherlands/Cameroon game ended six minutes prior to the Japan/Denmark game. And total numbers, Twitter says, were fairly similar to the first week when only one game was being played at a time.

Last week the all time highs were in terms of Tweets-per-second took place after goals were scored in the following games: Japan scores against Cameroon on June 14 in their 1-0 victory (2,940 TPS), Brazil scores their first goal against North Korea in their 2-1 June 14 victory (2,928 TPS) and Mexico ties South Africa in their June 11 game (2,704 TPS).

Unfortunately, as a result of this high traffic to Twitter, the network has suffered a considerable amount of downtime. And the downtime even caused Twitter to reschedule its ‘oauthcalypse’ for August because of the heavy usage during the World Cup.

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